Sepis...the word gives me chills and makes me angry that my doctors took so long to recognize it. Here is my story.

In 2008, I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl via c-section. I was released from the hospital with a fever, not having had a bowel movement or urine output, and I was vomiting. As the days and nights went by things didn't change. I couldn't hold anything down and I still had all the above symptoms, but they continued to progress.

I called my doctor, who said it was the pain medicine causing this. I stopped taking it. I continued to get sicker. This is not what I had imagined my first few days as a mother would be.

I went to see the Nurse Practitioner to get the staples removed from c-section incision. I could barely lie down. My back hurt so badly. In my records, she said I was likely having postpartum depression. I told her my other symptoms and she told me to take Colace, a stool softner.

I was at home for a total of 14 days with my baby and then my mother-in-law took me to the ER. I was admitted with peritonitis, sepsis, and then eventually septic shock. I was on life support and flown by helicopter to a wonderful Chicago hospital. I was in two different hospitals for about a month. A month being away from my brand new baby girl, my husband (he was physically there while I was not mentally there), and all the dreams I had dreamed of since I was a small child. When I was released to go home I was excited but sad, I couldn’t hold my little girl because I had had five abdominal surgeries tht left me with an incision from right under my breasts all the way to my c-section incision.

My stomach at this time was left “open” with a wound vac on it. The sponges’ starting diameter-wise were the size of a basketball. My husband never left my side when I was in the hospital and when we got home he became the main caregiver for Livy because I couldn't lift her or barely walk. Emotionally I was a wreck. I was dealing with the hormones of postpartum, as well as anger, guilt, and, even though the people that were helping me were those I loved, I wanted to be the one holding and feeding my baby girl.

Since 2008 I have endured a lot of things – a surgery to close me up, going back to work the week the doctors released me, a surgery for a hernia that I developed as a result of the infection, a hematoma surgery – a result of the hernia surgery. I’ve gained weight because I couldn't exercise for a while. AND, the biggest most disappointing bummer: the news that we can’t have anymore biological children. My stomach wall just isn't strong enough.

I sometimes wonder if they would have caught it earlier would my life be different. Would my child have sibling? Would I be able to wear a bikini again? Would our finances be better because we wouldn't have had to pay all the hospital bills?

Sepsis changed me. My body is weaker. I worry if i have a fever. But it has also made me a stronger person for all that my family had to endure. I always tell people when they feel something is wrong with them to trust THEIR body! Doctors can be great, but I wish I would have pushed the doctors in the beginning to tell them this NOT right.